When it rains...

You know, with everything going wrong-Deaths, loss, frustration, just to mention a few-it hasn't got me down. I'm amazed.

Normally, I can get pretty bogged down pretty easily, but I am so happy. There's so much to be happy for! Ever since I've become reactivated in the Church, I've been so happy. Everything's gone right, despite things gone wrong. I'm so happy. The church offers such a different perspective than what's happening in the now.

On sunday, not only were my primary kids quiet as I taught class, but they were listening. That has never happened before. Never not once. I actually felt as if they actually got something out of it. We learned about Joseph after he got sold into Egypt and what Potiphar's wife does and how he eventually gets out of jail. They didn't listen to any of that. I could've been talking to the chalkboard for all they cared. But after I finished talking (to the bricks in the wall) I asked them what they had learned. "Nothing." "Pray." General answers. I started telling them what I learned.

I learned that you should always choose the right.No matter what, even if it does get you in trouble. Even if you go to jail and lose a lot of your life. Always do what you think is right. I also learned that no matter what, God listens. He listened to Josephs prayers down there. Even though Joseph might not have understood why God seemed to take so long, God still always answers prayers. We just have to be patient. I also learned that if you stick to it and stay on the path, God will bless you beyond your comprehension. He loves you so much that he wants to give you everything, and He will if you be patient and good. The last thing I learned is that nothing can go permanently wrong with Jesus Christ. No matter what happens, it will never be permanent because what Christ did was so wonderful that it makes everything right in the end. Nothing can go wrong.

The children listened to all that. I could tell it was soaking in. I could even feel the Spirit! The Spirit had entered my classroom! That was one of my New Years resolutions. Get my kids to actually walk away with something for once. Get the Spirit in the classroom at least once. Ok, so I guess that was really two goals, but still. It worked! I had never realized what my testimony could do. All this time I had been trying to get them to learn from the manual or by games, when really all they needed was my testimony. It was quite the experience for me.

Today, as with any day, I am listening to kzion- an internet radio that plays all LDS music all the time. I love it. I can never get enough of it. The more I listen, the more I want my music to play there. Why am I so afraid to get my stuff out there? Why can't I just do it? It's good. I know my stuff is good. A few songs are even great if you ask me (which is big because I am my toughest critic). I guess it's just scary. When I write silly songs, like "concieted" or "waste of a day," I'm not worried with that stuff. I don't care if people like it or not, or if people criticize it. When it comes to my serious stuff, the stuff that comes from my heart, that's a little scary. I'm scared for people to criticize it. That is me to my very essence. To put that out there, to put it all on the line, out in the open, that's terrifying. But I want to do it so bad. All it takes is just one little leap, right? I'm afraid my legs won't jump. I need to get it done. I want a CD! I want to inspire people and comfort people. Music is the best way I know how. It comforts me so much.