Ebony and Irony

It's funny how all my life I've striven to be different. I grew up in a place where most everybody is born and raised in my church and most everybody has the same opinion on things, because that is what the church says, and that is what we believe. I hated being the same. I did whatever I could to be different. Sometimes, even, when I didn't want to, really. Now that I live in a place where I am different, I want everybody to be the same. I want everybody to have the knowledge that I have.

My English Composition class really gets me going. I mean really. For those of you who know me, I'm sure you know what I mean. I have opinions, naturally, but I'm not one to share them. You believe what you believe, and I'll believe what I believe. No sense in arguing about it and getting frustrated. In english, however, i do not view it the same. Although I respect others beliefs, values, and opinions, i am completely disgusted by what people think is "right," or "moral." My opinion is so different (and my I add completely right) that I MUST share it. If I don't defend the right, nobody will, and then something truly would be lost.

Want some examples?

Pornography.

The word I feel dirty even saying. Regardless, it is an issue, although others don't see it as such. Class began by discussing a Harvard professor losing his job for having pornographic images on his work computer. We discussed whether it was just that he lost his job. The discussion quickly evolved to porn itself. I could NOT believe it. Could NOT. It quickly turned to the whole class against me. One girl stated how it is "natural" for a man to look at such filth. "No! No it is not natural! It is wrong!" The words spilled out before my tongue could stop it. Everyone else seemed to think it was "natural" and even "healthy" for men to view that stuff. Natural? Healthy? I don't know about you, but I don't consider it healthy to degrade women like that. It got pretty heated. I then stated that it has been a PROVEN FACT that rapists, child molesters, and other such sexual preditors began on pornography. It is a dangerous addiction that should be avoided like a disease. It degrades women. It ruins lives. It robs you of your ability to love. That shut everyone up pretty quickly. I don't believe the "natural" and "healthy" argument was strong enough.

Cohabitation.

Did you know that if a couple lives together before marriage, they are 80% more likely to get a divorce? Did you know that a child is more likely to get abused emotionally, physically, and\or sexually if the parents cohabitate or are divorced? Cohabitation weakens commitment. It makes a mockary of marriage and weakens our whole society. There are many people in my class who cohabitate and defend it fiercly. Once I presented those statistics, they haven't said a word.

Homosexuality.

Oh boy. This one is a sensitive issue. First and foremost, I need to make a few disclaimers. I have gay friends. I love my gay friends. They are really great people. Very respectable. I truly adore some of them. Also, there is a distinct difference between homosexual/gay/lesbian and same-gender attraction. SG attraction admits that you have those attraction and urges. Just because you are tempted, however, doesn't mean you have done something wrong-in any case, not just homosexuality. Homosexual/gay/lesbian denotes that you have acted on your SG attraction. Therein lies the sin. Acting upon it. I sympathize with those who are struggling with SG attraction. It is a terrible battle that I can understand, but can not comprehend. I can't imagine the pain and anguish they must go through. I admire and respect them all the more for battling it. Homosexuality is a choice. SG attraction is NOT a choice, but acting upon those urges IS a choice. I have absolutely no tolerance for those who choose to act upon those urges, and then play the victim in all of this. If you make a choice, own up to it. Don't misplace the blame on society, or your parents, or others, or God. You chose to give in. You can choose to fight the battle. No, it is not easy. Frankly, I don't blame anyone for giving in. I can't say I'd be much better. But if I chose to live the gay life, I would not play the victim. I believe in consequences to your actions. I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who choose not to give in. It is a long a rocky path. I pray for you. Regardless of whether you choose to be gay, or you experience SG attraction and fight it, you are a person. None of us are perfect. I can not judge. All I can say is don't play the victim. You are not a victim. I will love and accept any person, simply because they are a person, not because they do or do not have my same beliefs.

Abortion.

Now this one got me fired up last class. We read an article recently published in the paper about a Christian Minister who is a woman, yes, she is a Reverend. She leads a congregation of people, spiritually. She wrote about her abortion 19 years ago, and then precedes to justify it. She said some deeply disturbing and horrendous things. She openly admited she, and I quote, "murdered [her] baby." She also talked about her "anguish" in her and her husband wanting the baby, but "not wanting it enough." So just because you don't want something, you murder? Since when was that okay? She also started a sentence "In the battle over killing our babies,..." In the battle over killilng your babies? What? How can you honestly say that it's right to kill your baby? How can you start a sentence like that and feel that what you did, or the whole practice in general, is right? A battle over killing your baby. There shouldn't even BE that kind of battle. She also argued that is was the "moral" and "right" thing to do..."for me, my family, my husband, and my job." Her job? She's a flipping reverend! And she murdered! And she feels RIGHT about it! What is going on in the world today? Not only that, but the people in my class agreeing with what she did? Is there no good in this world? Are people really that blind? Isn't there a scripture about good being evil and evil being called good. That woman is the "great and abomidable" church the scriptures speak of. I can't believe she is considered a spiritual leader. I simply don't understand how you can stand in front of a congregation and claim goodness and preach about righteousness and sinning when you yourself are a murderer. That article makes me beyond mad, and frankly sick to my stomach.

I love this class because it opens my eyes to the world (although sometimes I would prefer to remain innocent and naive). It forces me to make a stand, stick to my guns, and voice it. I don't back down. I don't apologize for the truth. I state it how it is, and I believe, I really believe they know what's right. They know I'm right. I can see how things have changed in that class since the beginning of the semester and now. I think I have possibly made some people think about what they are doing. That life can't just be wandered through. You've GOT to make conscience decisions, and then reap the consequences. Rape, divorce, aids, abuse. Take your pick. I, however, will steer clear.

Everytime I leave that classroom, I am that much more thankful for the gospel. I am thankful that I can see things and have a clear head. Sometimes I think my peers are drowning in this vast and perilous ocean. They grasp at whatever they can find to stay afloat, but they don't realize they are not going to make it if they are making poor and careless choices. I am so thankful I can see things so black and white, that I'm not lost in this fog that so easily overtakes.