I am burdened and very surprised at the way my family is acting. Most of all I'm just sad.
I feel unsupported. I'm so excited to marry Trevor. This is supposed to be the happiest time of my life, so why is no one happy with me? Aunts, siblings, my mother, nobody. Except one. The only one that has really even been around Trevor and I a lot. The only one that sees what I see in him. Which is a lot. Because he's an all around good guy. I've been especially sad (it brings me to tears at the thought) that I got a bridal shower in a room full of people I didn't even know, but when I'm in the place that I grew up. With people I've loved and known for years, no one even cares. I was told today that I'm just being selfish. Yes, we need the gifts. I won't deny that. We're poor. Very poor. But it's not really about that. I thought when I found the person I wanted to make eternal families with that I would celebrate with the ones I love. That I would be surrounded with happy and joyful and all that great stuff. They won't even celebrate with me, and I'm being called selfish for wanting my loved ones around.
In church yesterday, my bishop gave the combined priesthood/relief society lesson. He talked of some couples he married civilly since he's been bishop. He told of one couple where it was only them. They brought no family and said they wanted none there. He said what a sad thought that was. He also said that is the marriage that is struggling most. I don't know this couple's circumstances, but I am beginning to feel that way (except for Trevor's side. They've been wonderful. More than wonderful. I feel very welcomed and accepted into their family.) I just wish my family would show to him, my dearest love and treasure, the same kindness that his has shown me. After all, would they like it if I was being treated that way by his family? I don't understand why he's being ostracized. I don't understand why they're being so harsh. I don't understand why they're judging things so quickly about things they barely know. I don't understand the gossiping and the back biting. I don't understand about all the talk about his mistakes and "red flags" when they don't understand the whole background of everything. I don't understand this racism. And yes, that is what it is. I'm not gonna sugar coat it. You're being racist! Stop it!
The bottom line is he's not pulling me away. You are pushing me away. I am going to love him until the end, and I have no doubt that he will do the same for me. I love you Trevor J. Williams. I love you with everything I've got.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Can't we all just get along?
Posted by Miranda W. at 8:54 PM
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7 comments:
You are forgetting at least one person who supports you unconditionally. Would that I were closer, so I could show you more support live and in person. I will be at your reception (even without an invitation) having fun and being my goofy self. I love you, my darling daughter.
miranda, I haven't read your blog for a while, but I want you to know that I love you, and I'm so excited for you! You're going to have a wonderful wedding! I can't wait to see you!
This is NOT true. At no time have we ever "ostrasized" Trevor. We have always included him in everything and have been very polite to him. Yes, we have concerns about him but we have never been rude or unkind to him. We have extended our homes and included him in all functions and we have been nothing but polite. What are you talking about???? Give me specifics. What is this racist stuff too? You apologise for saying these untrue things about your family. I hope this is just the migraines talking.
And oh yeah your dad really supports you. How much is he putting on the wedding. $0 like all the other weddings. pllleaseeee.
Financial support isn't everything. And I could quote "Mexicans kill their own." Yes, we can be polite to his face, but what about when we voice our "concerns" to everyone in the world. Might I remind you that Trevor is no superman. If you were expecting me to marry superman, I'm gonna have to dissappoint you. He is human and has as many flaws as the rest of us. Whatever "concerns" (which more accurately should be called "paranoid/predjudice judgements") you may have, should be privately discussed between us. Should be resolved between us. Not blabbed to everyone you meet, so that others can prematurely judge him on his flaws, and have a darkened opinion of him before they even know him. How would you like it if I told everyone I knew about all your faults? How would you feel? Would you feel judged? Would you feel ostrasized? Oh wait, I forgot. You're perfect. So I guess you have a right to do that to him. Sorry. Forgive me.
But I will admit you are polite and kind TO him, just not ABOUT him to everyone else.
sometimes in times like these we expect our life to be as important to others as it is to ourselves. We expect them to understand as we do. but sometimes these expectations lead us to being hurt or let down. these expectation distract us from the reality of how others around us are acting. Are they really showing hatred and uncaring for the person? Or are the showing concern and trying to show love? Are you throwing that back in their faces? Don't push your family away.
Miranda not everyone in your family has judge Trevor the way you make it sound. Not everyone talks about Trevor and you the way you may think, their is some family out there that supports you and loves you no matter who you chose to marry. Love ya Cuz!!!
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